Choosing to go to therapy is a crucial step toward enhancing emotional well-being, strengthening relationships, and promoting personal growth. A therapy appointment provides a safe and confidential space where individuals, couples, and families can explore their challenges, gain insight, and develop effective coping strategies. Whether you are grappling with mental health symptoms, navigating life transitions, or simply looking to deepen self-understanding, going to therapy can be incredibly valuable. Understanding when and how to engage in treatment — and how to support loved ones in doing so — can empower people to make informed decisions about their mental health care. This post covers questions such as, “Why do people go to therapy?”, “Should I go to therapy?”, and more.
Going to therapy—especially for the first time—can feel like stepping into the unknown. You might wonder: What will I say? Will they judge me? Will it even help? These are normal questions. The truth is: at a therapy appointment, it is not about being perfect or saying the right thing—it’s about being real, even if that means saying “I don’t know where to start.”
What is a Therapy Appointment Like, and What is it Like to Go to Therapy
Here’s a breakdown of what a typical therapy appointment is like and what it feels like to go to therapy.
What Is a Therapy Appointment Like?
Therapy Appointment Length & Format
Most sessions are 45–60 minutes.
They can be in person, via video, or by phone.
It’s just you and the therapist in a private, confidential setting.
The First Session
The first session is often more of an introduction and assessment:
The therapist may ask about:
Why do you seek treatment
Your current symptoms or concerns
Mental health history
Daily life (work, relationships, health)
You’ll talk about goals: What do you want to change or feel better about?
The therapist will explain confidentiality, their approach, and what the sessions will entail.
You can ask questions too, like:
“How many people have you worked with who have anxiety/ADHD/trauma/etc?”
“What kind of treatment approach do you use?”
“How will we know if this is working?”
“How long until I see measurable improvement?”
It’s okay to feel nervous or awkward at your therapy appointment—your therapist expects that.
Typical Sessions After That
After the first therapy appointment, sessions might include:
Talking about what’s been going on that week (emotionally or situationally)
Exploring your thoughts, patterns, or triggers
Working on coping strategies or new perspectives
Reflecting on past experiences that affect your current struggles
Practicing skills (like grounding, communication, or boundary-setting)
The therapist won’t just sit silently or psychoanalyze you. Sound treatment is a collaborative process—you work together. This includes answering questions such as, “How often should you go to therapy?” “Can we work on other stuff?” and others.
What Does It Feel Like to Be in Therapy
At first, it might feel:
Awkward (“What do I say?”)
Uncertain (“Am I doing this right?”)
Emotionally raw (you might cry, or feel relief)
New and strange—like learning a new language
But over time, when you go to therapy, it starts to feel more like:
A safe space where you can say anything
Empowering—you start to understand yourself better
Relieving—you’re no longer holding everything in alone
Grounding—you have someone helping you make sense of things
What You Don’t Have to Be in a Therapy Appointment:
“Fixed” or put-together
Polite or perfect
Always talkative or expressive
Sure of what you want
Common Myths About Going to Therapy
Myth
Reality
“Therapy is only for people with serious problems.”
It is for anyone who wants support, clarity, or change.
“I won’t know what to say.”
You don’t have to—your therapist will help guide you.
“It’ll be uncomfortable forever.”
It might be at first, but therapy gets easier and more meaningful over time.
“Therapists just give advice.”
They help you explore, understand, and grow—not just tell you what to do.
Why Do People Go to Therapy?
You feel less alone
You discover the roots of what you’ve been struggling with
Untangling emotional knots becomes possible.
You gain tools to manage life better
You build self-understanding and self-compassion
Final Words
Why do people go to therapy? It doesn’t mean something’s “wrong” with you. Instead, it means you’re brave enough to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. It may feel hard at first, but over time, it often becomes a place of comfort, clarity, and deep personal growth. The reasons to go to therapy are varied but center on self-improvement and the desire to thrive.
Glossary of Therapist Terms
Here’s a glossary of common therapist terms—designed to help you feel more confident and less confused in sessions. Whether you’re new to the process or want a refresher, this list breaks down psychological terms in plain, human language.
When the therapist listens carefully, repeats back what you’re saying (in their own words), and checks to make sure they understand you correctly. It helps you feel heard and helps them get it right.
Affect
This means your emotional expression—how you look or sound when talking (e.g., flat, sad, cheerful). A therapist might say, “Your affect seems low today.”
Coping Skills
Tools or strategies you use to handle stress, anxiety, sadness, etc. Examples: breathing techniques, journaling, taking breaks, reframing thoughts.
A standard method focuses on the idea that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, so changing your thinking can help alter how you feel and act.
Insight
Understanding something new about yourself—like realizing why you react a certain way, or what triggers your emotions. This is one of the main reasons to go to any insight oriented therapy – to build deeper awareness over time.
Simple actions that help calm your body and mind, especially during anxiety, panic, or dissociation. Example: naming five things you can see in the room.
Validation
When the therapist acknowledges that your feelings are real and make sense, even if they’re difficult. Validation is key to feeling emotionally safe, and it is another key reason to go to therapy.
Projection
A defense mechanism where you attribute your feelings or thoughts to someone else. Example: thinking someone’s mad at you, when you’re mad at them.
Transference
When you unconsciously redirect feelings from someone in your past (like a parent) onto your therapist. It’s normal and can be helpful to explore.
Countertransference
When a therapist reacts emotionally to a client, it is often based on their own past or feelings. Good clinicians stay aware of this and use supervision to manage it.
When a therapist teaches you about mental health concepts, diagnoses, or brain function, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your experiences.
A method that combines acceptance and change strategies. It teaches skills like mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Used mainly for trauma and PTSD. It utilizes bilateral stimulation (similar to eye movements) to help the brain process distressing memories.
Bonus Therapist Terms
Term
What It Means
Trigger
Something that sets off an emotional reaction (especially from trauma or stress).
Dysregulation
Feeling overwhelmed and unable to control emotions.
The part of you that holds childhood emotions or unmet needs.
Processing
Working through emotions, thoughts, or memories with the therapist—making sense of them over time.
Final Note About Therapist Terms
It’s okay to ask your provider what one of the therapist terms they use means—they’ll respect your curiosity. Therapy is a learning space, and part of the process is building a shared language that helps you grow.
Coping with a loved one’s illness, addiction, or mental health issues
Loss of a family member
Adjustment to blended families or step-parenting
Systemic Challenges
Intergenerational trauma
Cultural or religious conflict within the family
Impact of racism, immigration stress, or minority stress
Building Skills & Strength
Improving family communication and cohesion
Building empathy and reducing blame
Learning how to support a struggling family member
Creating healthier family rules, routines, or rituals
Determining: Should I Go To Therapy?
Deciding whether to go to therapy can feel overwhelming, but a simple way to start is by asking yourself a few key questions about how you’re feeling, functioning, and connecting with others.
Should I Go to Therapy?
Here’s a self-check to help you decide, “Should I go to therapy?”.
Are you feeling emotionally overwhelmed or stuck?
You feel sad, anxious, irritable, or numb most days
Your emotions feel out of control, or you find yourself shutting down
You’re feeling hopeless or questioning the point of things
Are your daily responsibilities harder than usual?
Trouble focusing, sleeping, or completing work/school tasks
You feel burned out or exhausted all the time
You’re withdrawing from people or avoiding responsibilities
Are your relationships struggling?
Constant conflict with family, friends, or your partner
Feeling lonely, even around people
Struggles with boundaries, trust, or communication
Have you experienced something difficult or traumatic?
A recent loss, breakup, accident, assault, or illness
Childhood trauma or abuse that still affects you
A significant life change that’s hard to adjust to
Are you using coping strategies that don’t feel healthy?
Numbing out with food, alcohol, screens, or substances
Avoiding emotions or isolating yourself
Angry outbursts or harmful thoughts/behaviors
Are you looking to gain a deeper understanding of yourself or grow personally?
Hoping to break old patterns or improve decision-making
Other Reasons to Go to Therapy
You’re generally okay, but not feeling like yourself
You’ve tried self-help, but it’s not enough
You want things to change, but don’t know how
You feel like a burden to others
You’ve been told by someone who cares about you that it might help
You keep thinking, “Should I go to therapy?” and feel like that’s a sign
Common Misconceptions (That Might Be Holding You Back)
Myth
Truth
“I’m not sick enough.”
You don’t have to be in crisis to go. Many people go for support, clarity, and growth.
“Therapy means I’m weak.”
Asking for help is actually a sign of strength and self-awareness.
“Therapists just listen—I can talk to my friends.”
A trained therapist helps you dig deeper, notice patterns, and learn real tools for change.
“It’s too expensive or time-consuming.”
There are affordable options, and even a few sessions can be helpful. Think of it as investing in your well-being.
How Often Should You Go To Therapy?
Answering “How often should you go to therapy?” depends on your individual needs, goals, and situation. Here’s a general guide to help you understand what might work best for you:
How Often Should You Go to Therapy? The Possibilities:
Weekly Sessions (Most Common)
Typical for many people starting out.
Helps build a strong therapeutic relationship.
Provides regular support for ongoing issues like anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship struggles.
Allows steady progress with tools and coping skills.
Biweekly or Every Other Week
Good if your challenges are less acute or you’re managing symptoms well.
Helps maintain gains once you’re feeling more stable.
Works if your schedule or budget doesn’t allow weekly visits.
Monthly Check-Ins
For ongoing maintenance after significant progress.
Helpful when treatment focuses on long-term growth, rather than crisis management.
Useful for specific challenges, such as coping with chronic illness or significant life transitions.
Intensive or More Frequent Sessions
Sometimes two or more times per week in severe cases (e.g., trauma, crisis, addiction).
Some people use sessions sporadically during stressful life events.
Helpful if you’ve already done long-term treatment but want support during transitions.
You and your therapist will work together to answer the question, “How often should you go to therapy?” based on your goals and preferences.
Factors Influencing Frequency
Severity of symptoms: More intense struggles often need more frequent sessions.
Goals: Working through trauma or deep issues may require weekly sessions; skill-building or maintenance might not.
Budget and insurance: Practical considerations often shape frequency.
Therapist recommendation: Your therapist can help tailor the frequency based on your progress.
Your schedule and availability: Consistency is key, but sessions need to fit your life.
How to Convince Someone To Go To Therapy
Convincing someone to go to therapy can be delicate because it involves their feelings, fears, and personal readiness. Here’s a thoughtful approach to encouraging someone gently and effectively:
How to Convince Someone to Go to Therapy: A Guide
Choose the Right Moment
Find a calm, private time to talk.
Avoid bringing it up during arguments or stressful moments.
Approach with empathy and patience.
Express Concern Without Judgment
Use “I” statements to share your feelings:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been really struggling lately, and I care about you.”
“I want to make sure you get support because you don’t have to go through this alone.”
Avoid blaming, criticizing, or making them feel weak.
Normalize the experience of a therapy appointment.
Explain that behavioral health treatment is a common, helpful resource for many people, not just for “serious” problems.
Share examples if comfortable: friends, family, or even yourself who benefited.
Mention that therapy can help with stress, relationships, or personal growth.
Answer, “Why do people go to therapy?” in a supportive, positive manner
Address Their Concerns
Ask what worries them. Common concerns include stigma, cost, time, or fear of being judged.
Provide information or solutions, if possible, such as affordable options, online approaches, or assurances of confidentiality.
Reassure them it’s a safe space and therapists are there to help, not judge.
Offer Support
Suggest helping them find a clinician or making the first appointment.
Offer to go with them to their therapy appointment if it feels supportive.
Let them know you’ll be there regardless of their decision.
Be Patient and Respect Boundaries
Remember, they must want it for themselves for it to be effective.
If they say no, respect that — keep the door open for future conversations.
Continue showing care and support without putting pressure on them.
Knowing how to convince someone to go to therapy can be valuable and provide you with the motivation to help a friend or family member in need.
Example Script
“Hey, I just wanted to say I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately, and I’m worried about you. I think talking to a therapist could be a constructive way to get some support and tools to feel better. It’s something a lot of people do, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. If you’d like, I can help you find someone or even accompany you to the first session. I care about you, and I’m here no matter what.” This is the kind of script you can modify as you learn how to convince someone to go to therapy.
Many who have never tried psychotherapy wonder what talking to a therapist is like, and almost all find it much easier and more positive than they expected. Talking to a psychologist can be a unique and transformative experience. This post answers “What is therapy like?” and concludes with an example of how to talk to a therapist about depression. Of course, if you still have questions or want more information, you can talk to a psychologist very soon by contacting me or scheduling a consultation!
Talking to a Therapist, Overview
The following is an overview of what talking to a psychologist like me is like, step by step:
1. Talking to a Therapist: Setting the Scene
Confidentiality: We maintain a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can talk openly. They’ll explain the limits of confidentiality (e.g., if there’s an immediate risk of harm to yourself or others).
Comfortable Environment: Sessions are usually held in a quiet, private space that feels safe and supportive.
2. Talking to a Therapist: First Session
Introduction: The first session is often about getting to know each other. I may ask questions about your background, current concerns, and goals for therapy.
Empathy and Validation: I listen attentively and work to validate your feelings, making sure you feel understood.
3. Guided Conversations
Open-Ended Questions: I often ask questions like, “What’s been on your mind?” or “How does that make you feel?” to help you explore your thoughts and emotions. More specific or pointed questions may seem pushy, so I leave it up to you what you want to share.
Reflection: I might repeat back what you’ve said in a way that helps you see your experiences from a new perspective.
Gentle Challenges: Sometimes, I may gently challenge your thought patterns or beliefs to help you grow or uncover deeper truths.
4. Talking to a Therapist About Emotions
Processing Emotions: Talking to a psychologist can bring up strong feelings, especially for the first time. It’s okay to cry, be frustrated, or even feel unsure—this is part of the healing process.
Supportive Presence: I provide a calm, steady presence to help you navigate difficult emotions, and I work to understand how fast you want to move.
Homework: Between sessions, you may be given tasks to try, such as journaling, practicing a skill, or reflecting on a specific topic.
6. Talking to a Therapist about Your Progress
Ongoing Review: Over time, we will assess how therapy is going and adjust your approach as needed. I may ask, “What is therapy like for you?”
Empowerment: The goal of talking to a psychologist is to help you build self-awareness and develop the tools to handle challenges independently. Individual therapy should be solution-focused and relatively time-limited.
7. What Talking to a Therapist is Not
Not Judgmental: Talking to a psychologist will not make you feel criticized or told what to do. Instead, it’s a collaborative process.
Not Always Easy: Talking about tough topics can make you feel vulnerable, but it’s often necessary for growth, and we’ll go at a comfortable pace.
Every therapist has a unique style, and your experience may vary depending on the therapist’s approach (e.g., cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or humanistic therapy) and your personal needs. It’s okay to shop around for a therapist you feel comfortable with (we are never offended when someone says they are shopping around – in fact, we welcome it). I use an integrative psychological approach that combines a variety of therapeutic methods and types of therapy, but if it turns out you feel I am not the right match, I’ll work with you to find someone who is if you’d like.
What is Talking to a Psychologist Online Like?
Talking to a psychologist online is similar to in-person therapy in many ways but has some unique aspects due to the virtual format. Here’s an overview of the answer to “What is therapy like online?”:
Before the Session
Scheduling:
You typically book an appointment through a secure platform. I use a dedicated therapy platform with significant privacy and security enhancements. I offer an initial phone conversation, which is when many new to the process may ask, “What is therapy like online?” and I help them feel comfortable with the process.
Preparation:
You’ll receive a link to join the session.
You’ll need to complete intake forms electronically before your first meeting.
Ensure you have a private, quiet space for the session, with a stable internet connection.
Talking to a Psychologist During the Session
Setting the Scene:
Depending on your preference, sessions are held via video, phone, or even chat.
I will greet you and ensure you feel comfortable with the technology.
I’ll explain confidentiality and its limits, just like in-person therapy.
Building Rapport:
I’ll ask your reasons for seeking help, background, and goals.
The interaction is usually relaxed and conversational, aimed at helping you feel at ease.
Flexibility in Format:
Video: We see each other, mimicking face-to-face interaction.
Phone: You can focus on talking without worrying about eye contact or appearance.
Focus on Your Needs:
I listen actively, provide feedback, and may guide the conversation with open-ended questions.
I may share tools like worksheets or coping strategies electronically during the session.
My platform offers asynchronous communication, like messaging your psychologist between sessions.
Availability
Online therapy allows you to choose among a much wider range of possible providers
Online therapy allows for more flexibility in having family members join
Challenges of Talking to a Psychologist Online
Technical Issues:
Internet disruptions or software glitches can interrupt the session.
A backup plan is essential, like switching to a phone call if needed.
Privacy Concerns:
You need to ensure your space is private to talk freely without interruptions.
Use headphones to maintain confidentiality.
Less Physical Presence:
Some people miss the face-to-face connection of in-person therapy.
Non-verbal cues (e.g., body language) may be harder to pick up on through a screen.
After the Session
Follow-Up:
I may email session notes, resources, or tasks to work on.
You can book your next appointment through the platform.
Reflection:
Like in-person therapy, you’ll have time to process the session and practice strategies discussed.
Who Benefits Most from Talking to a Therapist Online?
People with busy schedules or transportation challenges.
Those who feel anxious about meeting in person or just more comfortable at home.
People who find a good match in a therapist who lives far from them.
Individuals living in areas with limited access to mental health services.
Online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for many issues, allowing you to talk to a therapist about depression, anxiety, stress, and more in a flexible and accessible way to get support tailored to your needs.
Talk to a Therapist About Depression: Case Example
Here’s an example of what it’s like to talk to a therapist about depression. This is a fictional scenario to help illustrate the process I might use:
For the past two months, Alex has felt sad, unmotivated, and isolated. She struggles to keep up with schoolwork and often feels like a failure. Before that, she was mostly happy and content. After an initial consultation, she felt that it would benefit her to talk to a therapist about depression and learn strategies for overcoming her recent frustrations.
First Session: Building Rapport and Understanding
Me:
“Hi Alex, thanks for coming in today. What made you decide to reach out for support?”
Alex:
“I guess I’ve been feeling down lately, and it’s not improving. I feel like I’m stuck, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Me:
“I hear you. Feeling stuck can be hard. Can you tell me more about what you’ve been experiencing?”
Alex:
“I just… I don’t feel like myself. I used to be excited about school and seeing friends, but now I can barely get out of bed. Even things I used to enjoy feel pointless.”
Me:
“That sounds exhausting. It’s clear this has been weighing on you. Have you noticed when these feelings started?”
Alex:
“Maybe a couple of months ago? I had a bad breakup, and since then, it’s like everything’s gone downhill.”
Middle Sessions: Exploring and Addressing Depression
After a few sessions, I help Alex identify patterns and explore coping strategies.
Me:
“You mentioned feeling like a failure. Can we talk about that? What thoughts go through your mind when you feel that way?”
Alex:
“I just feel like I’m letting everyone down—my professors, family, even myself. I’ve missed so many deadlines and can’t catch up.”
Me:
“That sounds overwhelming. Our minds can easily spiral into self-criticism when we’re struggling. What would you say to a friend if they were going through the same thing?”
Alex:
“I’d probably tell them it’s okay to struggle sometimes and that they’re not a failure. But it’s hard for me to believe that.”
Me:
“Exactly—our inner critic can be harsh. Let’s work on developing some self-compassion. Would you be open to practicing grounding when those thoughts arise?”
Talk to a Psychologist About Depression: Techniques
Cognitive Restructuring: I help Alex challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more balanced ones.
Behavioral Activation: Alex creates a plan to gradually reintroduce activities that bring joy or a sense of accomplishment.
Me:
“You mentioned last week that you went for a walk with a friend. How did that feel?”
Alex:
“It was actually nice. I didn’t think I’d enjoy it, but I felt better afterward. It made me realize I’ve been isolating myself too much.”
Me:
“That’s a great insight, Alex. It sounds like connecting with others and getting outside help. How can we build more of those moments into your week?”
Alex:
“Maybe I can set a goal to text one friend and go to the gym once this week.”
Me:
“That’s a solid plan. Remember, small steps are key, and it’s okay to take things at your own pace.”
After You Talk to a Therapist About Depression
Over time, Alex begins to feel more hopeful and develops tools to manage her depression. She is happy she decided to talk to a therapist about depression. She still has tough days but feels equipped to handle them and supported in their journey.
This example highlights how talking to a therapist about depression offers a safe space for exploration while offering practical strategies to improve well-being.
What is Therapy Like? Summary and My Work
Therapy is a supportive, confidential process where you work with a trained and experienced professional to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Here’s a quick summary of what it’s like:
Safe Space:
Therapy provides a nonjudgmental and private environment to discuss challenges or personal growth. So, “What is therapy like?”: It is an emotionally comfortable space to explore your challenges and barriers and discover possibilities.
Collaborative Process:
You and I work together to identify concerns, set goals, and develop strategies to address them. So, “What is therapy like?”: Working as a Team to address your concerns, find your strengths, and feel accepted and understood. You’ll have the pleasure of reaching meaningful goals and setting new ones if you want.
Structured but Flexible:
Sessions may include open-ended discussions, guided exercises, or learning specific skills (e.g., managing anxiety or improving communication). So, “What is therapy like?” It is a place to build a toolbox that will help now and in the future after your sessions end.
Emotionally Intense but Empowering:
Discussing personal struggles can feel vulnerable, but the process can help you gain clarity, resilience, and a sense of control. So, “What is therapy like?” It is a safe space to explore deep thoughts and feelings without feeling judged. I ensure we do not move faster than you want, and you’ll always be able to ask to slow the process if you wish.
Tailored to You:
Therapy is adapted to your needs, whether you’re dealing with mental health conditions, relationship issues, or personal development. So, “What is therapy like?” It feels like you have a unique plan developed specifically for you.
What is Talking to a Therapist Like With Me?
Talking to a therapist can sometimes be challenging, but it’s ultimately a space for healing, growth, and self-discovery. I ensure that you feel safe, accepted, and heard. We’ll progress at a pace that is comfortable for you and adjust the methods and approaches as needed. I’ll ensure that you are educated about the possible types of therapy we can use in my integrative practice. You can also read about what it is like to go to therapy.
Summary and Conclusion
So, why do people go to therapy? A therapy appointment can be a flexible and accessible tool that can meet a wide range of needs, from crisis intervention to ongoing personal development. Deciding to begin going to therapy, determining the appropriate frequency of sessions, and encouraging others to seek help are deeply personal decisions that should be approached with compassion and respect.
Remember, the reasons to go to therapy do not have to do with weakness but rather are part of proactive choices toward greater resilience, deeper meaning, and healthier relationships. By fostering openness about mental health and support options, we can reduce stigma and create environments where everyone feels empowered to seek the care they deserve. I have another similar post that answers, “Does therapy help?“
To set up a therapy appointment, learn more about how to convince someone to go to therapy, or discover my specific services or other therapy resources, please contact me or schedule a consultation anytime.
Related
Dr. Alan JacobsonFounder and President
Dr. Alan S. Jacobson, Psy.D., is a licensed psychologist and certified health service Psychologist and Founder of the Center for Applied Psychological Science. He has been practicing for 25 years and is licensed in 44 states. He provides evidence-based psychotherapy for adolescents and adults. His clinical work focuses on anxiety, depression, executive functioning challenges, life transitions, and performance-related stress. Dr. Jacobson integrates cognitive-behavioral, insight-oriented, and values-based approaches to help clients build clarity, resilience, and measurable psychological growth.
About Dr. Alan Jacobson, Psy.D., MBA, Founder and Chief Psychologist
Alan Jacobson, Psy.D., MBA, is a licensed clinical psychologist and Director of the Center for Applied Psychological Science, the parent company of Integrative Therapy Services.
