Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already dealing with anxiety, grief, burnout, or questions you’ve carried for years. The fit between the client and therapist is one of the most critical factors in determining whether the process is effective. That’s why, when someone reaches out to me who wants to know how to get therapy, my first goal isn’t to “book a session.” Instead, it’s to help you land in the right place. This post aims to help you discover the best way to find a therapist who can meet your unique needs, including using therapist finders, word of mouth, insurance websites, and other therapy resources.
Sometimes that means we’ll work together. Other times, it means I’ll point you to a colleague who’s a better match for your specific needs, whether that’s someone who specializes in EMDR for trauma, a provider from your cultural background, or a therapist who uses a different therapeutic approach. Your healing matters more than my schedule. And you deserve to know how to get therapy that truly aligns with you.
Best Way to Find a Therapist 
Here’s a structured guide to the best way to find a therapist from start to finish, including how to use therapist finders, what to ask in the first call or session, and how to determine whether a therapist is the right fit. It also includes other self-help and online therapy resources for those exploring alternatives or supplements to therapy.
Step-by-Step: Best Way to Find a Therapist Who Fits
How to Get Therapy Using Therapist Finders
These directories help you learn how to get therapy, including
- Insurance accepted
- Specialty (e.g., trauma, ADHD, couples, teens)
- Therapy approach (e.g., CBT, EMDR, psychodynamic)
- Identity (e.g., LGBTQ+, BIPOC, faith-based)
- Languages spoken
- Virtual or in-person availability
Top Therapist Finders
- Psychology Today – The most widely used of the therapist finders, with very customizable options. One drawback is that no search feature indicates whether a practitioner is licensed or how many years of experience they have.
- TherapyDen – Inclusive and user-friendly with advanced identity filters
- Open Path Collective – Affordable therapy ($40–$70/session)
- Zencare – High-quality video introductions and vetted clinicians. One of the best therapist finders overall.
- Inclusive Therapists – The best of the therapist finders for prioritizing marginalized identities
- Your insurance provider’s website – Find in-network therapists by plan
Contact a Few Therapists
Email or call 2–4 of the results from therapist finders with a brief message like:
“Hi, I’m looking for support with [brief concern, e.g., anxiety, relationship issues]. I’m hoping to find a therapist who uses [CBT/trauma-informed/mindfulness] approaches and accepts [your insurance, or private pay]. Do you have availability, and could we set up a short consultation?”
Questions to Ask a Therapist
Use a free consultation (often 10–20 minutes – most therapist finders list whether these are offered) to ask:
- What is your experience working with [your issue]?
- What is your general approach or philosophy of therapy?
- How do you structure sessions?
- Do you assign homework or do in-session work only?
- What experience do you have working with clients who are [your identity/life context]?
- What should I expect in the first few sessions?
- How do we track progress or know when therapy is working?
If you’re unsure what to ask, you can say:
“This is my first time learning how to get therapy. Can you walk me through what working together might look like?”
How to Get Therapy that is the Best Fit
After your consultation or first few sessions, the best way to find a therapist is to ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe and heard in this space?
- Do I feel respected and not judged?
- Is the communication clear?
- Do they challenge me appropriately or just listen?
- Do I leave sessions feeling clearer or more overwhelmed?
- Am I noticing small shifts over time?
Tip: It’s okay to “shop” using different therapist finders. A good clinician will understand if you want to explore other fits.
Other Online Therapy Resources
If you prefer therapy online or via text/chat. Keep in mind that there may be a significant range of experience and expertise with these services, and you may have less choice on which provider you get:
Online Therapy Resources
- BetterHelp – Text/video therapy resources with licensed professionals (not usually insurance-eligible)
- Talkspace – Similar to BetterHelp, with insurance coverage in some plans
- Thriveworks – National network, insurance-eligible, in-person, and online
- Amwell / MDLIVE – Offers therapy under telehealth, often through insurance
Best Way to Find a Therapist for a Low Cost
How to Get Therapy Resources Through Apps
- Insight Timer (free) – Meditations, sleep tools, emotional wellness
- MoodKit (iOS) – CBT-based thought tracking and goal setting
- Woebot – AI-powered CBT chat for support
- CBT-i Coach – Gold-standard app for insomnia, developed by VA
How to Get Therapy Through Self-Guided Programs
- Centre for Clinical Interventions – Therapy resources through evidence-based modules (depression, anxiety, perfectionism, etc.)
- Therapist Aid – Free worksheets, coping tools, and psychoeducation
- Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy Online – Self-paced course from Oxford
How to Get Community Support
- 7 Cups – Trained volunteer listeners and free peer support chat
- Mental Health America – Offers free screening tools and support guides: mhanational.org
Best Way to Find a Therapist: Final Tips
- Therapy is a relationship—it may take a few sessions to know if it feels right.
- You are allowed to ask questions, change therapists, or take breaks. You are the customer.
- Good treatment makes you feel more understood and empowered over time, not confused, unsure, or belittled.
Case Example: How to Get Therapy for Test Anxiety and Sports Performance
When Jenna, a 15-year-old high school sophomore, came to me, she was juggling a multitude of responsibilities — competitive athletics, a demanding academic load, and the intense pressure to excel both on the field and in the classroom. Her parents described her as bright, determined, and hardworking, but lately she had begun experiencing intense test-taking anxiety, along with self-doubt that was starting to affect her athletic performance.
How Jenna’s Family Found Me
Jenna’s mom had been asking around in a local parent Facebook group about therapists who specialize in therapy for teens. A few parents mentioned they’d had positive experiences with therapists who also understood the psychology of performance. One name came up a couple times — mine.
Her mom then turned to therapist finders, including Zencare.co, a directory that lets you filter therapists by specialty, approach, and age group served. She searched for:
- Age: Adolescents
- Issues: Test-taking anxiety, sports performance, and stress
- Format: In-person and virtual
- Location: [local city]
- Approach: CBT + performance coaching
Again, she found my profile, watched my short video introduction, and read about how I blend CBT techniques with performance psychology tools I’ve used with young athletes and high-achieving teens.
Reaching Out
She sent me a brief message through Zencare that said:
“Hi, I’m looking for someone who can help my daughter manage test anxiety and regain her confidence in sports. She’s a student-athlete who puts a lot of pressure on herself. I’d love to know if this is an area you work in.”
We set up a free 15-minute call where I explained my experience:
- Working with teens using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety
- Teaching mental rehearsal and focus techniques for athletes
- Helping students develop coping strategies for test environments (e.g., breathing tools, mindset reframing, time-buffer planning)
They appreciated the fact that I offered both a structured plan and space for Jenna to explore her feelings without judgment.
What Treatment Looked Like
Over the next few months, Jenna and I worked together on:
- Identifying thought patterns that triggered her anxiety before tests
- Using visualization and anchoring techniques for sports performance
- Practicing exposure to low-stakes “test simulations”
- Building a compassionate inner voice instead of harsh self-talk
- Strategizing time management to avoid burnout from trying to “do it all”
Outcome
Jenna learned how to approach pressure situations with more calm, confidence, and clarity. She didn’t just improve her test scores and performance on the field. She also began to enjoy these challenges more, seeing them as opportunities rather than threats.
If you’re a parent looking for a therapist for your teen, especially one navigating academic pressure, performance anxiety, or self-esteem issues, you might consider therapy resources such as a platform like Zencare or asking your community who they trust. And if my approach resonates with you, I’d be happy to discuss whether I might be a good fit for your child.
Case Example: Best Way to Find a Therapist – Even When It Wasn’t Me
I received a message from David, a man in his late 30s who was reaching out because he was feeling stuck. He’d been carrying the weight of past experiences, including childhood trauma, grief from a recent loss, and a growing sense of emotional numbness. He told me he was ready to start individual therapy but wasn’t sure where to begin or what kind of therapist he needed.
David had found my profile on Psychology Today, and what stood out to him was my clear focus on men’s mental health and anxiety. He appreciated my straightforward style and the fact that I offered a free consultation, so he reached out.
The First Conversation
In our consultation, David shared some of his story. As he opened up, it became clear that his experiences were deeply trauma-related. He described vivid memories, emotional flooding, and a persistent feeling that the past was “still happening.”
While I do trauma-informed work, I recognized quickly that he would benefit most from EMDR, an evidence-based treatment specifically designed to help the brain process and rewire trauma memories.
I let David know:
“I think you’re doing something courageous by reaching out. Based on what you’ve shared, I want to make sure you connect with someone who’s not just good, but specialized in exactly what you need. EMDR is one of the most effective approaches for this kind of work, and while I don’t offer it myself, I know excellent colleagues who do.”
Helping Him Connect to Therapy Resources that Fit
David was understandably unsure. He had taken a big step by reaching out to me. I assured him that finding the right therapeutic fit is part of the healing process.
I asked:
- Whether he preferred in-person or virtual therapy sessions
- If he wanted someone of a particular gender or cultural background
- What his schedule and insurance situation looked like
Then I searched my network for:
- EMDR certified therapists
- Trauma-informed approach
- Evening availability
- Culturally responsive clinicians (based on his preference)
I shared two recommendations, along with personal notes about each, and provided him with language to use when reaching out. I also called them myself to let them know he’d be calling.
A Better Fit, A Better Start
David followed up with one of the referrals and started EMDR therapy within the month. A few weeks later, he sent me a short thank-you note:
“I didn’t know what I needed when I reached out, but I’m glad I landed in the right place. You made this less overwhelming.”
Sometimes the most therapeutic thing I can do is not start therapy, but help someone find the right doorway into it using my network of therapy resources. If you’re unsure where to start, I’m always happy to be a guide, not just a provider.
How to use AI to find a therapist
Using AI to find a therapist can make the process faster, more personalized, and less overwhelming, especially if you’re not sure what kind of therapist you need. Here’s a breakdown of how to use AI tools effectively for this purpose, including platforms that utilize AI-powered matching and how to combine them with your own preferences to find the best way to find a therapist using technology.
How AI Can Provide the Best Way to Find a Therapist
AI can assist in several ways:
- Personalized matching: AI can match you to therapy resources based on your symptoms, preferences, and therapy goals.
- Chat-based guidance: Some platforms offer chatbot assistants that guide you through the process and refine your search.
- Symptom screening: AI can help clarify what issues you’re dealing with through brief assessments, then suggest appropriate modalities or specialists.
- Predictive filtering: AI tools can analyze provider reviews, specialties, success rates, or availability to improve matches over time.
Step-by-Step: Using AI to Find a Therapist
Describe Your Needs Clearly
AI matches work best when you include:
- Presenting issues: e.g., anxiety, burnout, trauma, ADHD
- Preferences: therapist gender, cultural background, identity alignment
- Goals: coping strategies, healing trauma, relationship improvement
- Format: virtual, in-person, hybrid
The more detail you provide, the more tailored your match will be.
Try AI Symptom Checkers (Optional)
If you’re unsure what you need help with, start with an AI-based mental health screener:
- Mind Diagnostics – Screens for depression, anxiety, trauma, etc.
- Ada Health – AI symptom checker that includes mental health conditions
- Woebot – AI-powered CBT chatbot (not therapy, but can guide you toward it)
You can use your screener results when filling out therapist matching forms.
Evaluate Your Matches Thoughtfully
Once AI gives you recommendations:
- Read therapist bios carefully
- Watch intro videos (Zencare, Alma, and others often include these)
- Check for keywords: CBT, trauma-informed, EMDR, somatic therapy, etc.
- Reach out with a short message and request a consultation
Limitations of an AI Therapist Search
- AI doesn’t replace your gut feeling after meeting someone, which is a key aspect of how to get therapy that fits
- Algorithms may not account for interpersonal chemistry
- Not all therapists are listed on AI platforms, especially those in smaller practices or with full caseloads
Combine AI With Human Wisdom for the True Best Way to Find a Therapist
The best way to find a therapist using AI is by:
- Using AI platforms to narrow down 3–5 solid therapist options
- Reaching out to each with a message or scheduling a consult
- Use therapist finders as well
- Talking to trusted friends, doctors, or support groups for names
- Listening to how you feel in a session: therapy is a relationship, not just a service
Conclusion
Knowing how to get therapy is not easy, and that’s a good thing. Whether you work with me or someone I help you find, what matters most is that you feel safe, meaningfully understood, and supported in the work. If you’re unsure where to start or the best way to find a therapist that is right for you, I’m always happy to help guide you through the process of how to get therapy. Even if our paths don’t align directly, I want you to find a therapist who gets you and who can help you grow, heal, and move forward in measurable and meaningful ways.
Support is out there. If you have questions about how to get therapy that will match your unique needs and hopes or how to navigate therapist finders, please contact me or schedule a consultation anytime.
