I help people break free from patterns of impaired relationships and rediscover who they are, apart from what they do for others. Codependency often hides behind love, loyalty, and responsibility. You might be the one who always fixes, supports, or sacrifices—yet feel unseen, emotionally drained, or stuck in one-sided relationships. Maybe you’re unsure where others end and you begin. Through in-person or online therapy for codependency, I work with individuals, couples, and parents to build healthier boundaries, reconnect with their own needs, and create balanced relationships grounded in mutual respect, not control or guilt. Codependency therapy is powerful and effective.
You don’t have to keep losing yourself to keep others close. Overcoming dependency and healing is possible, even if it initially feels unfamiliar.
Codependency Therapy Overview
Here’s a comprehensive overview of codependency therapy, including what codependency is, therapeutic techniques used to address it, who benefits from this kind of therapy, and how it helps, especially for couples and families.
What Is It?
Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition where a person consistently prioritizes the needs, feelings, or problems of others over their own, often to the detriment of their own well-being. It’s most commonly seen in relationships where one person enables another’s poor mental health, addiction, irresponsibility, or underachievement.
Common Traits of Codependency:
- Low self-esteem or lack of identity outside the relationship
- A need to “fix” or rescue others
- Difficulty setting or respecting boundaries
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Excessive caretaking or people-pleasing
- Guilt when prioritizing oneself
How I Treat Codependency
Here are some detailed descriptions of the methods I use in online therapy for codependency
Cognitive Behavioral Codependency Therapy
Goal: Identify and reframe negative beliefs that fuel codependent behavior.
Standard Techniques to Treat Codependency:
- Cognitive restructuring: Challenge core beliefs like “I’m only valuable if I help others.”
- Behavioral experiments: Test new ways of interacting (e.g., saying “no” and observing outcomes).
- Thought journaling: Track situations that trigger codependent thoughts and analyze patterns.
In Practice (Individual Therapy): People might explore how childhood experiences taught them to gain approval through sacrifice. Online therapy for codependency helps them recognize these patterns and replace them with healthier self-concepts.
In Practice (Couples Therapy): CBT helps each partner identify beliefs that cause over-functioning (e.g., “I must fix my partner’s problems”) and replace them with mutual responsibility.
Family Systems Codependency Therapy
Goal: Understand how family roles, rules, and dynamics maintain codependency.
Standard Techniques to Treat Codependency:
- Genograms: A visual map of family relationships and dynamics to spot generational patterns.
- Role exploration: Identifying and dismantling roles like “the rescuer,” “the enabler,” or “the lost child.”
- Structural interventions: Restructuring how family members relate (e.g., encouraging independence in a parentified child).
In Practice (Families): Therapy might reveal that a parent’s emotional needs were met through a child’s caretaking. It then helps realign roles and encourages appropriate emotional boundaries.
Emotionally Focused Codependency Therapy
Goal: Repair attachment injuries and develop secure, balanced emotional bonds.
Standard Techniques to Treat Codependency:
- Cycle de-escalation: Identify the reactive behaviors reinforcing disconnection (e.g., clinginess vs. withdrawal).
- Emotion coaching: Help partners/family members express vulnerability without blame.
- Attachment reframing: View behaviors as protective rather than malicious to foster empathy.
In Practice (Couples): A partner may rely too heavily on the other for validation. EFT helps each partner express deeper emotions (e.g., fear of rejection) and meet those needs together in a healthier, less dependent way.
Inner Child Work
Goal: Heal early emotional wounds that drive adult codependency.
Standard Techniques to Treat Codependency:
- Guided visualizations: Connect with and comfort the “inner child” who felt abandoned, unworthy, or overly responsible.
- Reparenting exercises: Provide emotional support the client didn’t receive as a child (e.g., affirmations, journaling, self-care rituals).
- Dialoguing: Have the adult self communicate directly with the inner child to understand unmet needs.
In Practice (Individual): Someone praised only for helping others might explore how that shaped their identity. Therapy helps them find worth outside of pleasing.
Assertiveness and Boundary Training
Goal: Help clients advocate for themselves without guilt or fear.
Standard Techniques To Treat Codependency:
- Role-playing: Practice saying “no,” asking for space, or expressing needs clearly.
- Boundary mapping: Visual tools to define emotional, physical, and time boundaries with others.
- Scripts: Use sentence starters like “I feel ___ when ___, and I need ___” to assert needs constructively.
In Practice (Couples/Families): The therapist may coach family members on how to set respectful limits around emotional caretaking or dependency, helping them shift from fusion to mutual respect.
Integrative Codependency Therapy Methods
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): Teaches clients to stay present with their feelings rather than reacting automatically.
- Somatic Therapy: Helps track body sensations to identify stress and boundary violations early.
- Narrative Therapy: Encourages clients to re-author their life story from one of sacrifice to one of self-agency and balance.
Who Benefits From Codependency Therapy?
- Individuals with a pattern of one-sided or draining relationships
- Couples where one or both partners feel overly responsible for the other’s emotions or actions
- Families dealing with enabling dynamics, especially around addiction, illness, or mental health
- Adult children of alcoholics or dysfunctional households
How Codependency Therapy Helps
For Individuals:
- Online therapy for codependency helps them develop a stronger sense of identity and self-worth
- It builds autonomy and emotional resilience, thus assisting people to heal from codependency
- Individual therapy improves emotional regulation and stress management
- It enhances relationship satisfaction by promoting healthier dynamics
For Couples:
- Online therapy for codependency encourages equal responsibility and mutual emotional support.
- It improves communication and conflict resolution.
- Couples therapy helps partners understand and support each other’s growth without overfunctioning
- It promotes overcoming codependency and developing secure attachment and balanced intimacy
For Families:
- Online therapy for codependency breaks cycles of enabling and emotional fusion
- It clarifies roles and responsibilities in the family system
- Family therapy creates space for healthier interdependence and eventual healing from codependency
- It strengthens family communication and mutual respect
Summary
Codependency therapy is a powerful tool for healing deeply rooted emotional patterns and fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Whether working individually, as a couple, or with a family, codependency therapy offers practical tools and emotional insight to cultivate autonomy, set boundaries, and form secure, supportive connections.
Case example: Therapy to Heal from Codependency in a Marriage
Here’s a case example that weaves together multiple therapeutic methods to show how a person might heal from codependency. This example is fictional but based on real-world patterns often seen in online therapy for codependency.
“Emily’s Journey to Self-Worth”
Background:
Emily, a 38-year-old woman, sought therapy after years of feeling emotionally exhausted in her marriage. She described herself as the “glue” of the household—managing the home, supporting her husband through his career ups and downs, and suppressing her own needs to avoid conflict.
She often said things like:
- “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
- “I feel selfish when I think about what I want.”
- “I just want peace.”
Emily grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who relied heavily on her for emotional support, even as a child. She unconsciously adopted the role of “caretaker” from an early age.
Codependency Therapy Methods Used
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Restructuring Beliefs
In early sessions, I helped Emily identify limiting beliefs, such as:
- “My worth comes from being needed.”
- “If I stop helping, they’ll leave me.”
Through journaling and thought records, she began healing from codependency by challenging these beliefs and replacing them with healthier thoughts like:
- “My needs are just as important as others’.”
- “Love doesn’t have to be earned through sacrifice.”
Inner Child Work: Reparenting the Wounded Self
Emily was guided through visualization exercises, during which she imagined comforting her 8-year-old self, the little girl who was terrified to disappoint her mother.
She began writing letters to her inner child, validating her feelings, and creating self-care rituals (like morning walks and reading for pleasure) as acts of reparenting.
Emily cried during her first inner child session—she hadn’t realized how long she’d been neglecting herself. This became a major turning point in her desire to overcome codependency.
Boundary and Assertiveness Training
I introduced the “Broken Record” technique to help Emily repeat firm but respectful boundaries without over-explaining.
Practice Scenario:
- Husband: “Why are you going out tonight? We had dinner plans.”
- Emily: “I understand you’re disappointed. I need this time for myself, and I hope we can reschedule.”
Over time, Emily practiced these scripts in session, role-playing how to say no without guilt or emotional collapse. She also began setting boundaries with extended family.
Family Systems Work
Emily and I mapped out a genogram, which helped her see a generational pattern of female caretakers and emotionally unavailable men. This awareness empowered her desire to overcome codependency by breaking the cycle.
We explored how her role in the family mirrored her marriage, and how stepping out of that role didn’t mean she was betraying anyone—it meant healing the family legacy.
Emotionally Focused Online Therapy for Codependency (EFT)
After about 4 months of individual therapy, Emily invited her husband to join. In EFT sessions:
- The couple identified their negative cycle: Emily overfunctioned → husband withdrew → Emily chased harder.
- Emily learned to express her underlying emotions (“I feel unseen and scared when I do everything alone”) rather than blame.
- Her husband, in turn, began to show more emotional engagement once the pressure dynamics shifted.
Mindfulness & Somatic Awareness
Emily also learned to listen to her body when she felt overwhelmed. Tension in her chest and shoulders became signals that she was ignoring her needs.
Mindful breathing and grounding exercises helped her pause before reacting out of old patterns and heal from codependency.
How She Learned to Heal from Codependency
- Emily no longer over-identified with the caretaker role.
- She enjoyed hobbies, friendships, and solo routines without guilt.
- Her marriage improved—not because her husband changed dramatically, but because Emily changed how she engaged.
- Most importantly, she felt whole on her own.
“I finally feel like I’m living with my husband, not through him.”
Case example 2: Working with a Parent on Overcoming Codependency
Here’s a case example of a parent who worked with me on overcoming codependency related to their adult child. This case illustrates how codependency can manifest in parent-child relationships and how online therapy for codependency can help reestablish healthy boundaries, identity, and trust.
“Mark Letting Go with Love”
Background:
Mark, a 62-year-old father, sought therapy for overcoming dependency after years of emotional exhaustion and conflict with his 28-year-old son, Jason. Jason had struggled with substance use, unstable employment, and depression since his early 20s. Though Jason lived independently, Mark provided regular financial support, managed his son’s responsibilities (like calling about bills or appointments), and constantly worried.
Mark described his role as:
- “If I don’t help him, who will?”
- “He needs me to keep his life together.”
- “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him.”
His wife had gently suggested online therapy for codependency after Mark drained part of their retirement savings to bail Jason out of a rental dispute, for the third time.
Online Therapy for Codependency: Methods Used
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Challenging Thought Patterns
Mark worked with me to identify his core beliefs, such as:
- “Good parents always help, no matter what.”
- “If I stop helping, Jason will fall apart—and it’ll be my fault.”
He explored cognitive distortions, like catastrophizing (“If I don’t pay this bill, he’ll end up homeless”), and learned to reframe them:
- “Jason is an adult. He is capable of learning from consequences.”
- “Supporting doesn’t always mean rescuing.”
We used a thought log to track triggering situations and shift from automatic guilt to intentional reflection.
Family Systems Therapy: Redefining Roles
I used Bowen Family Systems Theory to help Mark understand enmeshment and how family anxiety gets passed down.
- Together, we mapped out a genogram, revealing that Mark’s father was emotionally distant and Mark had vowed to “never be that kind of parent.”
- This created a reactive overcorrection in Mark’s parenting, leading to overinvolvement with Jason.
We discussed the difference between helping and enabling, and how Jason felt unable to take responsibility because Mark always stepped in.
Boundary and Communication Skills
Mark learned to set loving, firm boundaries without withdrawing emotionally. We used role-playing to practice phrases like:
- “I trust that you’ll figure this out. I’m here to talk, but I won’t take this on for you.”
- “I’m not comfortable giving money again. Let’s talk about other options.”
We also worked on non-defensive communication, so Mark could express love and concern without lecturing or fixing.
Inner Child Work
Though Mark was skeptical at first, I gently introduced inner child journaling. Mark uncovered a deep fear: if he didn’t overperform as a dad, he would be as “neglectful” as his own father.
Through visualization exercises, he began to comfort and support his younger self, giving himself permission to be enough without saving others.
Detachment with Love for Overcoming Codependency
I introduced the concept of “detachment with love”, often used in Al-Anon and CoDA to heal from codependency. Mark learned that:
- Detachment is not coldness—it’s trusting others to manage their own life.
- Love doesn’t require rescuing—it can mean holding space, listening, and stepping back.
Mark started attending a CoDA support group, where he found solidarity with other parents of adult children. This normalized his experience and encouraged him to keep holding boundaries.
Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
Mark practiced short breathing exercises and body scans to manage anxiety when Jason called in distress. This gave him the space to pause before reacting or offering solutions.
He also started a regular journaling practice, where he explored his emotions without judgment and tracked progress.
Online Therapy for Codependency Results
- Mark stopped providing financial support unless it aligned with clearly stated boundaries.
- He and Jason began having more honest, emotionally grounded conversations, not centered on fixing.
- Mark felt more connected to his wife, who had long felt pushed aside in Mark’s attempts to rescue Jason.
- He reported sleeping better, having fewer stomach issues, and feeling “lighter.”
“For the first time in years, I don’t feel responsible for Jason’s choices. And I still love him.”
Summary and My Work
The need to overcome dependency is not based on a weakness—it stems from a pattern, often rooted in survival and shaped by early relationships. But patterns can change.
In therapy to treat codependency, we’ll create space for you to:
- Understand your emotional wiring
- Practice new boundaries without guilt
- Reclaim your identity, voice, and joy
- Build relationships where your needs matter, too
Whether you’re navigating a difficult dynamic with a partner, parent, or adult child, codependency therapy gives you a safe, private space to explore and grow, from wherever you are. If you’re ready to stop overfunctioning and start reconnecting with yourself, I’d be honored to help. Don’t hesitate to contact me or schedule a consultation about online therapy for codependency anytime.
